Only then I know that we can only be friends.

我的世界不能没有她，我所做的一切都是为了她。
好想快快长大，好想快点毕业，赚钱养她。我不想让她这么辛苦。每当看到她，我就情不自禁地难过。我告诉我自己，我将来一定要给她最好的。

'live what you want to live and not what people want you to be'

Judgmental? Bias? I don't know. I should learn to be less sensitive and paranoid and don't care about them.

In the past, you would initiate and ask. Now?

朋友

我的朋友。。
Is it a wrong for me to treat them nicely esp __?
Is it wrong for me to treat them as true friends when they gave me nth but a fucking shit?
It is wrong for me to introduce my friends tgt?

So tired of all those comparison. Those judgmental feeling, those anxiety and paranoid. I thought I wouldn't get affected, so badly.. I thought they are the one who will stand beside me when I fall. Am I naive? Really sick of those cold shoulders. I thought I could hid my feeling but I failed. I admit that I am badly troubled by it. Every minutes ,ever seconds, I am affected..

Future

What is my future? To be sth related to accountant or to be sth related to psychologist?

I have more interest in psychology but I scared I will not do well cause of my language. I scared if I get into accounting, I will give up halfway.. |:

How? What should I decide?

Remorseful

Feel of guilty and ashamed. Already so big but childish. Maybe zy was right. I am too self-centered.

Fml. First time felt so lost. No motivation to do anything. Study seems nothing to me anymore. 

School? ......